Yup, that just came out of my mouth

O...M...G.., did that just really happen ? Did the pretty , bitchy, "old troll " just get up and leave ? Wait , "the boy " I mean the astronaut , I mean Mark, he's laughing .. why is he laughing ??? Why isn't he running after her ? Didn't he just move here from the great state of Alabama with her ???( I'm assuming this was /is his girlfriend right ? ) Panic sets in . What should I do ? Run over like a little smitten  school  girl ( wait I'm not smitten , I've already played out  our entire relationship  in my head , and we are soo over ) Play it cool  .. famous last words. Run into the kitchen , act like you have no idea what just unfolded before your pretty little eyes . When in doubt play the dumb card. You're cute enough to get away with it . Breathe .. calmly walk back out and check on your other tables . Shit!!! He is my only table . You know I'm really starting to want to smack myself .  Ok .. he's gone .. sigh .. I  bet he went after her. Of course he did , we've already mentally broken up . Run to her blue eyes , save your relationship.  Wait , what ? He's moved to the bar ok . , and he's sitting with my boss . He knows my boss ? My boss calls me over (of course he does ) tells me this is a good friend of his and take good care of him . ( ha ha ha right , I'll do just that ) I wonder if my boss knows of his secret space traveler identity ? Ok the astronaut is now talking to me . Don't make eye contact whatever you do , don't do it . Damn it .. I'm toast . In my  true style , I speak before I think ( for all of you reading this that actually know me.. SHUT UP ! ) What is the first thing that comes out of my mouth ? So tell me what does being an astronaut and working at a golf course have in common ?( What am I doing? I'm not one of those cheesy, Vegas, night club, Corney comedians)  Yup total out of body , I hope I choke on a  chicken wing bone at any moment and die experience.  He just stares at me for a moment ( of course he did , What  the hell kind of question was that ?)his response was "well , I don't know what astronauts would actually do , but an agronomist studies plants and soils, you know the science of it . (And apparently I didn't !) Great , for the love of god , I finally know !!!! I of course let out one of those stupid , annoying girl giggles . (Space traveler 5 , dumb ass girl 0) So that's how it went. I was trying to  be all cool, and knowledgeable. Instead,  I make myself look like a total idiot. A Little voice inside my head says, do you think he noticed? Are you kidding me ? Of course he noticed.  I needed to turn this around, redeem myself. Think, think,think!!!! I know nothing about your profession,  what is it you actually do ? ( Wow, if that wasn't total verbal genius !)Blue eyes proceeds to go into a very lengthy spiel about his duties,(he's the guy who keeps it green ) his current course, how he manages the people who mow the grass,  bla bla bla bla . Meanwhile as I'm trying to look as interested as humanly possible (I think I deserve an Oscar, at least a nomination) all I can think about is , who picks up the balls ?


A little bit of knowledge for those like me, who were/are also unknowledgeable about the big, intimidating world of golf (astronauts, and ball picker upper guys )

Golf course superintendent

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A Golf course superintendent is a person who professionally manages the labor, time, materials and financial resources needed to care for the turfgrass and landscaped grounds on a golf course. Golf course superintendents have also been referred to as greenskeepers and turf managers. Golf course superintendents are concerned with the environmental health of the golf course, the sporting needs of the players and the financial sustainability of the golf club or country club for which they work. Golf course superintendents communicate the status of the grounds and maintenance resources to members of the club’s management, owners or board of directors, green chairs and committees, golfers, vendors, suppliers, golf professionals, golf course architects and others in the golf industry. Their management strategies must also align with the golf club business’ environmental and philanthropic role in the community.

Golf course superintendents carefully monitor the natural weather patterns, environment and other influences that affect the playing areas and landscapes with which golfers interact. Golf course superintendents monitor the health of the golf course environment through careful study, diagnosis and treatment of disease and injury to the golf course’s turfgrass fairways, tees and greens areas, as well as bunkers, areas of water hazard, naturalized areas and trees. Their skilled management of the course is accomplished through a detailed knowledge of biology, chemistry, plant pathology andentomology. Golf course superintendents can be officially certified by the Golf Course Superintendents Association of America (GCSAA).