Da da dum... (insert dramatic drama music here ) It was a typical (I have no idea what night it was , so I'm totally making it up here ) Let's say umm Thursday night(I like Thursday's it's my favorite TV show night ..true story ) The dirty golf shirt , space traveler boy was sitting at the bar with a mutual friend . Well, really not a friend of mine , but a regular who always tipped way over what he should have. Shout out to you, Mr. Big Tipper man . I ended up getting off very early and I had no intention of going home . I had been up to my eyeballs in writing papers for what seemed to be half of my adult life . I needed a release before I pulled my eyebrows out one by one, and poured lemon juice on my open wounds to remind me I was still alive . As I was grabbing my stuff to head out , Mr. Big Tipper man asked me where I was going . I told him I was done for the night and was going home . (Liar!!!!!.. I was soo going out ) He insisted I stay and let him buy me a beer . One turned into more and before I realized it I was hanging out with Mr. Big tipper man and gasp.. you guessed it .. "the astronaut". Somehow , through no idea or suggestion of my own , I was in my car driving home ( don't judge , we all have may or may not have driven once in their lifetime when we shouldn't ) but what I forgot to mention was THE ASTRONAUT WAS FOLLOWING ME, me the mental patient home . ( you are all perverts!!!! nothing happened ) I was dropping off my car and going out with the both of them, alone.... 2 guy's and 1 girl .. (Hey...wasn't there a TV showed called that ?)whatever, I was to tipsy at this point to care .Opps, I forgot to mention was Mr. Big tipper man wasn't following us , he was already at our next destination. So you know what that means .. I have to ride with the astronaut. .OMG .. instant panic .. like hold my chest in true Sandford and Sons style. Do you think he'd notice if I started screaming .. Elizabeth hold on baby , I'm coming to ya? OK plan b and c .. run Inside change really fast..( god, why couldn't I be rich and have a stylist with hair and makeup people at my disposal? ????) And drink more really fast (liquid courage, chug, chug away )...I know I should have invited him in ..but dear lord he can already read minds, I don't need to expose him to my outer insanity too...I rush out the door , a completely different person . Glammed up,in my favorite good butt jeans..Whew, were clean...close call there! (you know those fit perfectly even when you're having a fat day, make you feel like a million bucks jeans)and I'm sure smelling like a french whore. Then I saw it ... or maybe It was just my beer goggles that had seemed to mold to my face, now that i was past the point of no return, telling me I saw it . Pure holy shit, damn, she's a hottie, WOW, instant approval look..ha ha ha space boy .. game on...
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