The Little Turf Wife That Could

This entry goes out to my fellow turf wives . I'm seasoned on this "lifestyle " and I, like all of us , know way more that I want to .

When do you finally forgive ? When do you finally let go of all of the resentment. How do you let go?How can you mentally tell yourself that life is going to be OK ?  How can you be supportive, when you know the current life change is turning out to be everything you were promised it wasn't going to be ????. How can you still keep it together ? How can you possibly even still begin to be his biggest fan, his sounding block,his go to person, all the while trying not to scream I told you so? Why are we continually going through the motions and just accepting this is the way it is ? I really have no answers to any of the questions I just shot out. I amaze myself on the daily. I look back and still question at times how we are still married.  

You can count your blessings ,but faith only can take you, and your sanity so far . How are you not supposed to look your MOT in the face, and not want to punch him .You can't be upset with him , he took a chance. You can't be pissed off at things beyond your control.You can't become selfish and just expect.You have to look over things and just accept.You can only hope for the best and expect the worst .

Truthfully, I'm so sick of hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. There has got to be something better in this life . I'm so ready for him to get out . I'm tired . He's tired . But we just keep pushing on . I don't want to be the bad guy and crush his dreams. I would never in a million years ask him to stop growing grass EVER. But, sometimes I  want to tell him that, every decision he's making isn't a step further into that "dream property" Could it be that dream possibly isn't attainable anymore?  Could it be possible he's reached the ceiling? .. or could it be possible that I've finally given up ?

I think its the latter of the two. No matter what you do in life, you always are going to have good days and bad days. It's the how you deal with the days is what matters the most. Personally I just get so sick of being put in an attention fight with dirt and grass blades. Some days its annoys me more than others. 

Renovations suck, Grow ins suck and the 2 weeks before reopening suck even more! But here I sit, holding on to hope, his word, that next week will be MUCH better. We won't have to deal with seeing him for 20 mins , then he will be asleep. I won't have to answer our daughter with the I don't know verbiage, when she asks me 20 times an hour when Dad is going to be home. I'm crossing every finger, toe,eye, leg etc. THAT THIS IS THE LAST TIME, even though I'm sure , no positive, we will be going down this road again.

In the meantime..2 more days!!!!!!!! I can do this...I have wine, and we are still married....

O snap....There goes Caper....

Wowzars!!!! Let me put my sunglasses on for this one . I'm sorry if you are reading this in any type of light and you are now blinded by the 15 shades lighter of any color of white you have ever possibly imagined in your life . I wonder if this is the bright light people speak of when they have crossed over to the "other side" ,only to come back and talk about it .

This picture actually speaks volumes to me,besides the very weird tan line and the obvious nocturnal shade of white. This picture may or may not be living proof that my MOT actually put on the freaking sunscreen. The one of the 500 tubes I've purchased for him.I'm assuming it was the spray bottle. Knowing my MOT,it was the easiest thing to grab and apply as he realized his ankles were on fire . 

In this day and age why is it so hard to explain the seriousness of applying sunscreen,MORE THAN ONCE A DAY! Aren't they aware that you need to apply it every 2 hrs,especially if you are outside for hours on end every single day? Maybe there comes a time where their brains are just completely fried and they just forget. Maybe they assume they are the Teflon Don and skin cancer doesn't apply to them. 

I guess I should just be happy that he remembers "sometimes" and that he actually wear shoes ...I wonder how long it would take to actually tan his feet . My guess is the second Tuesday of never ! 

Good news is we now live in a place where its eventually going to be cold . But then I'll have to nag that you still can get sunburned in freezing temps..

Sigh a Turf Wife's work is never done ...

Grow in day -what the hell is that?? 

MOT-might be getting a spray tan in his near future 

ME- making fun of my beloved MOT

HOLLY- doesn't quite know what to say 

Sometimes Silence is Best

I truly feel like sometimes I sound like a broken record . Constantly having to explain my "life" to others . Why I have to plan my life around my hubs job, why it's extremely difficult to chase after my own dreams and why I always seem to have an excuse for every solution.

It gets exhausting trying to explain a Turf Wife's existence. WE are the glue that holds our families together and the oil that keeps the engine running at full speed. If  we break down, take a day off or throw any type of wrench into our normal, well our family goes to sheet .

Now before I give a negative impression about a MOT, mine in particular, he's amazing,he's a great dad to our daughter. He truly is my rock ! He's my biggest cheerleader.  He's always there when I need him to be .I might have to remind him 500 times and call him every 20 minutes to make sure he remembers ,but he will always come through . Any Turf Wife reading this will know exactly what I am talking about.That's just it though, anyone outside our "life" really doesn't understand.

What  really gets to me though, how hard it is for some people just to realize my husband doesn't work a M-F 9 to 5 job.

Yes,you might see his truck in the driveway at 2 pm on a Wednesday ,VERY rarely I might add,but it does happen every blue moon . I'm positive no one will notice him pulling in at 8pm the 6 other days of the week .

The older I get and the more seasoned I become in this industry,the more I notice the "outsiders" just really are clueless about this "our" life. I'm almost to the point of just telling anyone new I meet,I'm independently wealthy,and you might see me with a guy from time to time. It's complicated and I don't like to talk about our relationship.That way, I can save the loss of time ill never get back in my life with the 20min explanation of what my MOT does and still have to explain what I just explained because no one still knows what the heck I'm taking about.

My favorite response as of late is still "Oh so your husband is like a lawn maintenance guy" Yes exactly !!!( How do you even go on from there?) Another great one I've heard  "Its just grass why is he so stressed out?  It's not like he's a doctor saving a life ." Yup it's just grass. Please share this great affirmation with my MOT.

I could easily turn this whole post around and make it comical,but I'd be selling myself and"my sisters" short . Our existence is lonely, we are always put second even though our MOT'S will argue that. We can't just up and say I'm bored, I think I'm going to go and have a life changing experience today can you pick the kid up ? Or hey husband,take the weekend off and let's go out of town.I haven't seen you in 2 weeks can we have a lunch date? Or I'm sorry my husband had to leave your barbecue unexpectedly, his pump house just blew up and he has a grass eating fungus. .How the heck do you explain that????

The truth is no one knows any one's life until they walk a mile in ones shoes . It's very easy to give advice and solutions but, if the bigger picture is misunderstood, sometimes the best action is no reaction. 

A MOT'S guide to not getting a divorce

We all know this industry is the greatest on earth, but being involved romantically with a workaholic will take its toll on anyone . It's a really difficult balance for any MOT to try to be present in every aspect of life outside of their mistress.(their properties) I'm going to give you a run down on things that will make EVERY Turf wife happy .

1. If she calls,texts or emails you,PLEASE respond . Even if it's with a K. It takes 7 seconds to do so.We just want to be acknowledged.

2. If you say you're going to be home at 6, arrive home at 5:50. We already know MOT time is 2 plus hrs more than what was previously mentioned.

3. When and if you do actually get a day off, don't spend it sleeping.We realize you are exhausted,but we are exhausted too. Always be present if not mentally,at least physically.

4. When we tell you something,please listen and remember it. If you can't remember it,then write it down.

5. Please don't ever assume we know who or what your talking about .

6. Always offer us a day off.Just because you have a very demanding job,please don't consider ours any less.

7. If you know you are going to be later than what you originally thought,PICK UP THE PHONE and let us know.

8. If someone at work has ruined your day,please share it with us but don't bring the negativity home.

9. Please for the love of god,bring in all your pullovers and coffee mugs from your truck at least once a week.

10. Please communicate with us. We are already your biggest fans. Let us be "there" for you.

11. We love unexpected gifts.Flowers, food, anything really and it doesn't have to be expensive. It's the thought that counts.It's also away to score major brownie points.

12. When we are about to completely lose it,just listen,let us get it all out and then hug us.That is all we need.

13. Please don't ever think you work harder than we do.EVER ..

14. Please never just assume we will do it.Sometimes we need our knight on the big white horse to step in and solve it.

15. We sometimes,have given up our own "thing" to follow your "thing" please always remember that.

16. Make time for the kids.They miss you way more than your wife does. Period!

17. Make time for us.We miss you way more than our kids do.

18. We hate moving

19. When going to industry shows, please be real. We all know you're going to 2 seminars,the rest of the time will be spent reliving your college all-nighters and eating at really nice restaurants.

20. Use the sunscreen

21. If we are actually nice enough to make you lunch,please don't forget it in the morning.

22. If and when you have to go away overnight,please check in and don't send us pictures of your fun . We are already pissed off you get an adult night.We would just like to assume your sitting in your hotel room agonizing.

23. If and when we plan a girls night remember it and be home on time PERIOD!

24. We all know grass comes before family,but please learn how to find the happy medium

25. We want to hear about your day, just please explain it to us in English. We don't know or care about the correct verbiage.

26. After a long hot day please assure us you are staying hydrated throughout the day.We do worry about you.

27. When family time is happening,PLEASE stay off your phones. You're already with "her" and your assistants 20 hrs a day.We would just like the remaining 4 to be all about us .

28. Please let us know in advance if you are working the upcoming weekend.

29. Please at least offer to mow the yard.It's the thought that counts.

30. If we say we need you,we do. We are strong independent women,but sometimes we can't do everything.

31. Please be present for your children.The "firsts" only happen once.

32. When out in public,if we run into someone you know,please don't sit and talk for hours,it highly annoys us.

33. If we come to you and beg for better time management, please listen. These are not idle threats.

34. Please don't let your ego get the best of you.

35. We completely understand the amount of pressure you are under,but we refuse to walk on eggshells.
36. NOTICE THINGS!!!.. Notice when she gets her hair cut.Notice when the house is clean for 5 whole minutes.Notice what shes done all day, when you think she's done nothing. Doesn't matter what, JUST PAY ATTENTION AND NOTICE..ALWAYS!!!!! 

I'm sure I've missed a few. Please,feel free to let me know! We are on this journey together! We turf wives sometimes have a,hard time and that's OK...  As the saying goes happy wife ..happy life!