Look up,look down,my neck hurts!

So I read an amazing article the other day from a grass grower/now salesman.It was in the latest issue of Golf Course Industry Magazine, "Turf heads take over" A peer of my grass grower,my MOT ,wrote an amazing article, and of course I'm going to give him a shout out, Adam Garr, "Look Up." (find it and read it ..if not I'll send you the link or just;        click here

His article REALLY hit home with me.Not just because I'm in a glamorous marriage filled with glitter and sparkles, but because I feel my MOT is always looking down.It's taken a miracle,an act of god to be exact, to make the heavens move to FINALLY get him to look up . It's taken years to be exact ,but I think he finally gets it.Don't get me wrong here, after almost 16 years of being together,he's finally kinda, well not really, looking up for at least 5 mins every hour, but I'll take it . My life still revolves around dirt,budgets, equipment and other things that just put me to sleep. But at least on Wednesday's ( not really I'm just using this for a wow,factor ! ) I feel there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

You see there was a time where I wanted out.I just couldn't deal with being the other woman, and I had no clue to how compete with dirt , roots and a board room.But for some reason I had an epitome. I wouldn't let all of the above define me and rule my world and dictate my marriage.I would "make him look up "Even if it killed me!It took me years to do it, but guess what I finally won. Fast forward to now, and I truly believe we both have a better understanding of time and responsibility. 

I can remember the exact situation,when my MOT finally got it.Our daughter was 6 months old . We were on a very much needed family vacation, and he got to witness a milestone.Up until that week, she basically had no clue who he was.I'm not exaggerating here,she would basically cry and get scared when he'd interact with her.He was a foreign being.I'm sorry but no job ,career, salary, etc takes the place of family period!But, guess,what ? He took the time to focus on us for once,and our sweet girl rewarded him .She didn't crawl to me .She crawled to him! Those moments you just can't get back, and I thank God everyday,he gave my MOT clarity. As soon as we returned home, he resigned from his position and chose us !I'm not saying that was the easiest or best decision that was made,but because of his heart,he chose what was most important to him.

I'd like to think of myself as a very strong girl.I'm a lot stronger than I give myself credit for.The most important part of us having the marriage that we do is, I give my MOT time to look down and I don't fault him for it. Yes I do get highly annoyed, but whats the point? It just gives me unwanted stress.I understand that a typical work week is at least 60 to 70 hours . In fact if he comes home before 4 pm I get panicked. I've learned over the years to channel my frustrations into admiration. Happy wife happy life!

You see once you sign up to be married to a grass grower, you just have to accept it .You can't try to change it or belittle them because they are missing out.If you do, trust me, life is going to be miserable and Guess what?? you will never win !!! A great way to sum it all up is simply they are to their properties as a heroin addict is to the drug. Kinda extreme ,but it's truth what I write!.They can't breathe without it .It's simply my job as his turf wife to occasionally punch him in the face and make him "look up" or possibly set the house on fire so he will have to come home at some point! 

Again Adam, thanks for your words and hopefully my "crazy" did the meaning of your article justice, from a wives perspective of course!

This will mostly likely be my last entry for the holiday season, thank you all so much for following along.I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a very blessed New Year! 

xoxo

Trish

Think before you leap

Find the right job ,not the right now job. This is a saying I say to my grass grower all the time . Now before I go into this entry, I am in no way insinuating my MOT isn't happy at his current property or is looking to relocate us again. I'm also pretty sure he'd fear for his life ,if he uttered those 2 words to me "We're moving" especially after everything we've been through this year. So as of right now his life is safe!

Ok, now that we are all crystal clear, we shall begin! I do always wonder  this though. Most "normal" people intend to stay at their current places of employment forever. Grass growers I feel are always in the pursuit of more. Why can't it just be enough? Even if they're currently happy at their current property. (Again I'm not insinuating anything here,I also get in the beginning of one's career ,you need experience in different zones etc ) Ok back to what i was saying. In my opinion, I'm going to compare it to this. Probably not a great comparison, but I'm a girl, and this is how girls think. Think playing on a farm league in baseball (which your soul is happy doing so) but you're still doing everything you can to receive that phone call that you've been called up to the "Big League " Trust me, I get it . The glory,the accomplishment, the gigantic pay increase. But is that team the right team for you? Is that move going to be a good fit for your family or just for your career?  Is it going to put your name on the map? Or is it going to blow up in your face because you jumped in feet first,didn't  research the offer and didn't have a heart to heart with your head  and or your "people"?

I'm not saying don't take the chance either. I'm just saying weigh the pros and the cons .At whatever level you are on, or striving to be on ,just look at the big picture. The only thing that should matter is ,you are being able to do what you love and be true to yourself,regardless of what playing level you are on . That's the most important part .

I'm sure some of you are reading this thinking, why wouldn't you want to be the best you can be in your chosen field and strive for excellence? I completely agree with this thought. BUT I can't stress this enough, do the research, make sure this is the right long term decision, not the right now this is awesome , o my God  (sorry lord) I'm doing this decision.

In my years of being a Turf Wife, I have seen this happen so many times . Heck I've even lived it a time or two. Sometimes great moves,sometimes horrific moves. Each experience has made me who I am today, and also has made me a stronger wife,with the ability to bring my MOT back down to earth at times. Ladies we've all been there and I'm sure we have shared the same piece of string. Think the Sisterhood of the traveling pants ,but with a traveling string instead.

My plea to anyone reading this is, just always ask yourself "is this the right job or the right now job"
I am also giving you full permission to use my "trishaism" unless someone decides to trademark it and make it their own idea. This is proof I came up with it first.. ha ha ha

Ok..I'm done ..I'm stepping off my soap box. Carry on and have a happy day !