Grow in day 5,465. Me -3 ,Holly 4455678754345 .
Here's my week thus far . My MOT has been home everyday at a reasonable time .When I say reasonable, I mean like before the sun goes down ,like plenty of daylight left time,plenty of doing stuff around our home time . I really have no idea how this has happened . I'm still in disbelief myself . Infact ,I'm starting to question him about comming home period .
I'm paranoid something just isn't right . Sadly that is the baggage a turf wife holds heavy in the back of her mind. That feeling of insecurity brought on by the handfuls of negative situations. The disappointment ,the trails and tribulations of this industry . Don't get me wrong here , in my years of being a Turf Wife , (I'd like to think I'm a very seasoned veteran.) My MOT'S career has afforded us a very comfortable and exciting life . But those 2 or 3 horrific situations in the past ,always make it impossible to let my guard down and just relax .
Honestly, that is why I do hold a lot of people at a distance . Why get close to anyone ,form a relationship ,let someone into my crazy ..then BOOM ,we have to move . (Again I'm holding on to "past" situations) Completely unhealthy, but in reality, its just a coping mechanism .
In my tenure as being a Turf Wife ,16 years to be exact , I've come across plenty of wives ,and the one thing I've noticed is we all share the same cycle . In the beginning we are all naive . We are all so happy and excited ready to take on the world . We realize our MOT'S are the new kids on the block and they need to make a name for themselves ,at our expense. But who cares ? Our men work at Xyz Country Club, we are proud.
In the middle, by now we've moved 3 or 4 times and we are just exhausted. Exhausted! We are tired of having to explain why we move so much . Why they work 90 hrs a week and why we are always picking up the pieces. At this point we are highly annoyed .
Lastly the end . By this time we have been through the ringer . We are desperate, alone and our souls are damaged .We have been sucked in , chewed up, and spit out. We no longer feel admiration for our MOT'S. At this point resentment steps in . Our hearts are at a crossroad. Sadly this is where most throw in the towel and marriage is over . I'd be a big fat liar if I told you that,that thought hasn't crossed my mind a time or two . Fortunately for us,(well for him ..ha ha ha ) that's not an option .
I can deal with just about any situation that comes at me . I'm a very strong girl . I can 100% tell you ,that I've been altered emotionally , mentally and my heart has been hardened. I refuse to give up ,I refuse to let this "industry " take me into a dark place . At this point I just deal .
If I can give anyone any type of advice about being married to a MOT, it would be this . Just live . Don't think , Don't dwell , Don't wait around .Don't explain . Dont hate. Do you . Do what makes you happy . Do have an outlet .Do form relationships. Most importantly Just Do!!!!!!.. xoxo
Here's my week thus far . My MOT has been home everyday at a reasonable time .When I say reasonable, I mean like before the sun goes down ,like plenty of daylight left time,plenty of doing stuff around our home time . I really have no idea how this has happened . I'm still in disbelief myself . Infact ,I'm starting to question him about comming home period .
I'm paranoid something just isn't right . Sadly that is the baggage a turf wife holds heavy in the back of her mind. That feeling of insecurity brought on by the handfuls of negative situations. The disappointment ,the trails and tribulations of this industry . Don't get me wrong here , in my years of being a Turf Wife , (I'd like to think I'm a very seasoned veteran.) My MOT'S career has afforded us a very comfortable and exciting life . But those 2 or 3 horrific situations in the past ,always make it impossible to let my guard down and just relax .
Honestly, that is why I do hold a lot of people at a distance . Why get close to anyone ,form a relationship ,let someone into my crazy ..then BOOM ,we have to move . (Again I'm holding on to "past" situations) Completely unhealthy, but in reality, its just a coping mechanism .
In my tenure as being a Turf Wife ,16 years to be exact , I've come across plenty of wives ,and the one thing I've noticed is we all share the same cycle . In the beginning we are all naive . We are all so happy and excited ready to take on the world . We realize our MOT'S are the new kids on the block and they need to make a name for themselves ,at our expense. But who cares ? Our men work at Xyz Country Club, we are proud.
In the middle, by now we've moved 3 or 4 times and we are just exhausted. Exhausted! We are tired of having to explain why we move so much . Why they work 90 hrs a week and why we are always picking up the pieces. At this point we are highly annoyed .
Lastly the end . By this time we have been through the ringer . We are desperate, alone and our souls are damaged .We have been sucked in , chewed up, and spit out. We no longer feel admiration for our MOT'S. At this point resentment steps in . Our hearts are at a crossroad. Sadly this is where most throw in the towel and marriage is over . I'd be a big fat liar if I told you that,that thought hasn't crossed my mind a time or two . Fortunately for us,(well for him ..ha ha ha ) that's not an option .
I can deal with just about any situation that comes at me . I'm a very strong girl . I can 100% tell you ,that I've been altered emotionally , mentally and my heart has been hardened. I refuse to give up ,I refuse to let this "industry " take me into a dark place . At this point I just deal .
If I can give anyone any type of advice about being married to a MOT, it would be this . Just live . Don't think , Don't dwell , Don't wait around .Don't explain . Dont hate. Do you . Do what makes you happy . Do have an outlet .Do form relationships. Most importantly Just Do!!!!!!.. xoxo
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