So I was on a course with my Grass Grower the other day and saw something that I've NEVER seen in my life. I've been around this business for far too long, I know things about grass the average girl shouldn't, not to mention, the things I've seen have given me plenty of ideas to write about over the years, but this???? This will probably get me a book deal if I write about it correctly! Hopefully not piss anyone off because technically it looks like I'm calling a course out. BUT,I really think I'm just in AWE..or I've spent too much time in an unventilated room with toxic danger stickers everywhere and I'm now hallucinating things..
Picture it, Sicily 1943 ..Now I've gotten off track, probably fell asleep to a Golden Girls episode, I don't ever remember watching them play golf, isnt that what a lot of retired people do? Isn't that what the retirement goal is?? Golf every waking moment?? Then Midnight Cheesecake with your homies?? To talk about Golf??
Ok, back to where I was going.....
Que the Drums Francis...
Does your course lack that edge? Do you want to offer the Ultimate Golfing Experience? Are you, your Gm, Golf Pro, Owner, Chicken Wing Salesmen, or your Bagged Chip Dealer, scratching your heads about ways to increase your summertime revenue? Did your great idea of Frisbee Golf just end up flying away? Did your employees think they were given an emotional support, Company logo engraved, plastic saucer to fling at the secret poster that they have of you in the breakroom? Are you starting to notice everyone around you, employees, customers, peers, etc, are suffering from Disappointment Fatigue? (Yes, that's a real thing according to some made-up Internet Famous Millennial Doctor.) Is it YOUR life's mission to help Justin Thomas get his groove back??? I HAVE THE SOLUTION OF A LIFETIME!!!!
We all know that summertime sadness means less work for the cash register, the magnetic strip on a debit card gets a break, and minimal pound town time for your greens. Actual real time to get those summertime projects done, unless you live in a 12-month growing climate, where (use the man voice) "The grass never stops growing and there's STILL 200 plus rounds a day" YES it DOES still happen here...
Obliviously if your course is up der Nort ( yes it's words if you're from Wisconsin GO PACK GOOOO) where you only get 7 mins of sunshine and 77-degree summers, for the record I hate you and your 77 degree Summers but I WOULD DIE in your Winters. This is probably your "Season", and the Big Benjamins are raining down, However; YOU CAN STILL MAKE THIS WORK! IT'S FUN FOR EVERYONE!!
I mean you, yes YOU, could be at the Forefront of this ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY, BUT you must act fast!! I'm giving these away FOR FREE for the next 7 years! I will personally hold your hand as you, and your club, start to question what in the actual duck this thought process was!!! I don't know either!!!!! Does anyone actually know????!!!!???
Que the build-up music!!!
I'm almost done dropping a trail of Greens Mix... Now roll that beautiful bean footage Francis!!!!!!!!!... I bet the suspense is KILLING YOU!!!
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to YOU my loyal readers, friends, and followers... CART PATH HOCKEY with your very own CART RUT PUCKS! FULLY CUSTOMIZABLE TOO! Every Green on your course is just a giant Puck screaming to be cut into this Circular Geniusness!! Quit worrying about the Summertime Slump!!! WE HAVE YOU COVERED!!
You can even use the bad grass too! I can supply you with tiny little elf scissors for the perfect height of cut!!! Cup cutters are multi-use magic!!!! The possibilities are endless people!!!
Now I know what you are thinking! Why didn't YOU come up with this magic money-making idea!! The big dreams of extra income as a steady stream are probably not within your reach anymore, because you probably are now unemployed. BUT, to think it was YOU who started this GOLFING World Wide Phenomenon, certainly MIGHT not be a great addition to your resume! BUT you're a Trailblazer!! You thought outside of the Green ( and probably ruined holes #12, 6,9, and 2) BUT your creativity will not go unnoticed!!!!
Hopefully, no drone commercials are being scheduled or important tournaments. I'm sure your course is now on the Cart Path Hockey Recruitment Radar!!! Marketing Genius I say!!!
Make it rain dollar bills yo to fix your not-million-dollar idea! Kudos to you Cart Puck Creator!! You're NOT the Real American Hero!!
I really wish I was making this up, but if I didn't see it with my own 2 blue eyes.. Can anyone top this?? I mean seriously!
I have so many questions! I'm sure everyone reading this is equally perplexed. Even worse?? These AREN'T from a nursery either. These are freshly cut from a GREEN! A GREEN!!!! I'm not going to divulge the exact location, because I'm under very strict proprietary rules and regulations from The National, International, Institution of the Puck Rut Mafia..please understand...
Sound off below my Turf-alicious Readers. I'm counting on YOU..
Let's bring the EOP YETI SWAG CUP(early order program trophy ) Home!! Let's celebrate the World's First Ever CART PATH HOCKEY TEAM!!
"The WeedEaters" has a nice ring to it! ..
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