Thursday, August 4, 2016

Dear Turf Wife,

Have you ever been somewhere and had an ah ha moment, or an epitome about your life ? A moment in time where you wish you could go back and coach your younger self with the guidance of your older self ?
O the things I would tell her . The love I would give her and the guidance I'd lead her to. I'd tell her to take that trip ,(even if it meant only eating Ramen noodles  for a month ) buy those shoes,(quality over quantity) The boy who grows grass,you happen to meet at work ..RUN..don't make eye contact just RUN. (Ha I'm only kidding )
As a very seasoned veteran to the  "turf lifestyle " I've been through every possible scenario ,and circumstance with my MOT. Some have been amazing,some have been completely gut wrenching . But all these little bumps,curves and potholes have taught me to press on and be strong .
My only regret is not fully understanding what being married to a MOT actually meant . They don't come with a handbook of instructions or a stapled cliff note on how to understand this industry. Can you imagine how informative that would be ???? How much time and energy a Turf Wife could actually save for her own sanity ??!!??
I am an open book when it comes to my life as a Turf Wife and if I could ever give any advice to anyone "thinking" about going down this road ,this is what I'd tell you . I'm going to give 2 sets of advice here . Assistant vs Superintendent

Assistant Superintendent Turf Wife
1. He has no name for himself . He will have to prove himself and get his hands dirty. He will work more than you think he needs to , he's  responsible for way more than you think he's paid for and he will work every single weekend ,holiday etc .
2. I can almost bet you , you will hate his Superintendent. Why? because he's to hard on him or you feel he's never there . Learn to love that guy ! He can make or break your life !
3.YOU WILL BE PUT ON THE BACK BURNER. Doesn't matter how much you fight with him about it . Be prepared to just deal with it. When he's actually with you ,he will either be sleeping , in a bad mood or on the phone with his Superintendent. Sorry that's just the way it goes.
3. When he thinks he's actually ready for his own course ,he's not ! This won't happen overnight .. He still has to earn it . The industry decides when he's ready . Don't push him .
4.You will constantly have to move.Get used to explaining that to your family.  New locations mean more  growing experience. and more friends for you !
5. Always remember he does love you but the course always comes first He's bettering himself for the future. Find strength within yourself to be independent and not rely on him.Always have your own thing going on. 

Superintendent Turf Wife
1.He has made a name for himself, but in his mind its never "big enough" He will always want that dream retirement course or want that tour stop on his resume.He will still work way to much and not get paid nearly enough for his efforts. 
2.You will have a love hate relationship with his career, course and assistants. They will all make or break you!! Learn to deal with the good ,bad and the ugly! Celebrate the fact you now can diagnose "turf emergencies" in your own yard and take the correct action.! 
3. YOU ARE STILL ON THE BACK BURNER, but now you have a family. Be the queen of your castle and run it like a well oiled machine. Praise your MOT when he is home and complain about him when he isn't there. For the love of god listen to his stories and learn from them. They actually do help you out once in awhile. 
4.By now you will have moved more times than you can count. Save the boxes , heck invest in plastic containers.Never truly get to relaxed. you can blink and your on the move again. Enjoy your surroundings while you can.  Relish in the relationships you have formed over the years with people all across the country. Those women will make your heart happy! 
5.When he has a problem, it becomes your problem. His happiness is dependent on green speeds, root depth, blade height and sharp reels.He's in a constant battle with dirt and grass.Even when you want to punch him, hug him instead. You truly don't know his stress!!!
6. Always remember he does love you but the course always comes first . Find strength within yourself to be independent and not rely on him.Always have cold beer on hand and expensive wine for yourself!!!!

In closing (Thank god! This was a long post!) bottom line is, love your life, embrace it, never regret your choices and learn from experience.  You are both in this "lifestyle" together. There is no perfect way or wrong way to deal.with it!  Just keep on keeping on the best way you can! You Got This!!

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