Look up,look down,my neck hurts!

So I read an amazing article the other day from a grass grower/now salesman.It was in the latest issue of Golf Course Industry Magazine, "Turf heads take over" A peer of my grass grower,my MOT ,wrote an amazing article, and of course I'm going to give him a shout out, Adam Garr, "Look Up." (find it and read it ..if not I'll send you the link or just;        click here

His article REALLY hit home with me.Not just because I'm in a glamorous marriage filled with glitter and sparkles, but because I feel my MOT is always looking down.It's taken a miracle,an act of god to be exact, to make the heavens move to FINALLY get him to look up . It's taken years to be exact ,but I think he finally gets it.Don't get me wrong here, after almost 16 years of being together,he's finally kinda, well not really, looking up for at least 5 mins every hour, but I'll take it . My life still revolves around dirt,budgets, equipment and other things that just put me to sleep. But at least on Wednesday's ( not really I'm just using this for a wow,factor ! ) I feel there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

You see there was a time where I wanted out.I just couldn't deal with being the other woman, and I had no clue to how compete with dirt , roots and a board room.But for some reason I had an epitome. I wouldn't let all of the above define me and rule my world and dictate my marriage.I would "make him look up "Even if it killed me!It took me years to do it, but guess what I finally won. Fast forward to now, and I truly believe we both have a better understanding of time and responsibility. 

I can remember the exact situation,when my MOT finally got it.Our daughter was 6 months old . We were on a very much needed family vacation, and he got to witness a milestone.Up until that week, she basically had no clue who he was.I'm not exaggerating here,she would basically cry and get scared when he'd interact with her.He was a foreign being.I'm sorry but no job ,career, salary, etc takes the place of family period!But, guess,what ? He took the time to focus on us for once,and our sweet girl rewarded him .She didn't crawl to me .She crawled to him! Those moments you just can't get back, and I thank God everyday,he gave my MOT clarity. As soon as we returned home, he resigned from his position and chose us !I'm not saying that was the easiest or best decision that was made,but because of his heart,he chose what was most important to him.

I'd like to think of myself as a very strong girl.I'm a lot stronger than I give myself credit for.The most important part of us having the marriage that we do is, I give my MOT time to look down and I don't fault him for it. Yes I do get highly annoyed, but whats the point? It just gives me unwanted stress.I understand that a typical work week is at least 60 to 70 hours . In fact if he comes home before 4 pm I get panicked. I've learned over the years to channel my frustrations into admiration. Happy wife happy life!

You see once you sign up to be married to a grass grower, you just have to accept it .You can't try to change it or belittle them because they are missing out.If you do, trust me, life is going to be miserable and Guess what?? you will never win !!! A great way to sum it all up is simply they are to their properties as a heroin addict is to the drug. Kinda extreme ,but it's truth what I write!.They can't breathe without it .It's simply my job as his turf wife to occasionally punch him in the face and make him "look up" or possibly set the house on fire so he will have to come home at some point! 

Again Adam, thanks for your words and hopefully my "crazy" did the meaning of your article justice, from a wives perspective of course!

This will mostly likely be my last entry for the holiday season, thank you all so much for following along.I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a very blessed New Year! 

xoxo

Trish

They see me rolling in a,van down by the river

Yes..I haven't updated in a bit . No I haven't fallen off the wagon . Yes I'm still true to my cause of bringing  the voice of the "turf wife" to the masses. I just kinda took a much needed mental break . You see my life sometimes gets really overwhelming and I tend to crawl in a cave until I can properly "deal" . Being a warrior of turf life awareness, sometimes makes me stressed out beyond complete comprehension .

If you've been following along on the hot mess express that I call life , our beloved dog died, my husband moved us after 10 years of being "stable " and just last week our Florida home FINALLY sold. To say I've been on complete auto pilot ,is an understatement. Yes I've managed to write and update but that was me being me and pulling out the facade of I'm ok and everything is glitter bombs and rainbow bullshit.
The sad part is ,only my turf wives understand . Because ..WE'VE ALL BE THERE . I do credit my beloved MOT, because he's completely left me alone and let me deal . He's only gotten on me a fraction of times to get my crap together and continue on my crusade .

The great thing about having a blog and being a complete slacker is , whenever you decide to re-visit yr crazy, it welcomes you back . No questions, no judgement ,just an ok I'm glad you're FINALLY here ,now let's get this started !

With that being said,  Merry Christmas ,Happy Holidays, Happy day drinking because our husbands are going to be home way to much and our kids are going to be little turds .

The Little Turf Wife That Could

This entry goes out to my fellow turf wives . I'm seasoned on this "lifestyle " and I, like all of us , know way more that I want to .

When do you finally forgive ? When do you finally let go of all of the resentment. How do you let go?How can you mentally tell yourself that life is going to be OK ?  How can you be supportive, when you know the current life change is turning out to be everything you were promised it wasn't going to be ????. How can you still keep it together ? How can you possibly even still begin to be his biggest fan, his sounding block,his go to person, all the while trying not to scream I told you so? Why are we continually going through the motions and just accepting this is the way it is ? I really have no answers to any of the questions I just shot out. I amaze myself on the daily. I look back and still question at times how we are still married.  

You can count your blessings ,but faith only can take you, and your sanity so far . How are you not supposed to look your MOT in the face, and not want to punch him .You can't be upset with him , he took a chance. You can't be pissed off at things beyond your control.You can't become selfish and just expect.You have to look over things and just accept.You can only hope for the best and expect the worst .

Truthfully, I'm so sick of hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. There has got to be something better in this life . I'm so ready for him to get out . I'm tired . He's tired . But we just keep pushing on . I don't want to be the bad guy and crush his dreams. I would never in a million years ask him to stop growing grass EVER. But, sometimes I  want to tell him that, every decision he's making isn't a step further into that "dream property" Could it be that dream possibly isn't attainable anymore?  Could it be possible he's reached the ceiling? .. or could it be possible that I've finally given up ?

I think its the latter of the two. No matter what you do in life, you always are going to have good days and bad days. It's the how you deal with the days is what matters the most. Personally I just get so sick of being put in an attention fight with dirt and grass blades. Some days its annoys me more than others. 

Renovations suck, Grow ins suck and the 2 weeks before reopening suck even more! But here I sit, holding on to hope, his word, that next week will be MUCH better. We won't have to deal with seeing him for 20 mins , then he will be asleep. I won't have to answer our daughter with the I don't know verbiage, when she asks me 20 times an hour when Dad is going to be home. I'm crossing every finger, toe,eye, leg etc. THAT THIS IS THE LAST TIME, even though I'm sure , no positive, we will be going down this road again.

In the meantime..2 more days!!!!!!!! I can do this...I have wine, and we are still married....

O snap....There goes Caper....

Wowzars!!!! Let me put my sunglasses on for this one . I'm sorry if you are reading this in any type of light and you are now blinded by the 15 shades lighter of any color of white you have ever possibly imagined in your life . I wonder if this is the bright light people speak of when they have crossed over to the "other side" ,only to come back and talk about it .

This picture actually speaks volumes to me,besides the very weird tan line and the obvious nocturnal shade of white. This picture may or may not be living proof that my MOT actually put on the freaking sunscreen. The one of the 500 tubes I've purchased for him.I'm assuming it was the spray bottle. Knowing my MOT,it was the easiest thing to grab and apply as he realized his ankles were on fire . 

In this day and age why is it so hard to explain the seriousness of applying sunscreen,MORE THAN ONCE A DAY! Aren't they aware that you need to apply it every 2 hrs,especially if you are outside for hours on end every single day? Maybe there comes a time where their brains are just completely fried and they just forget. Maybe they assume they are the Teflon Don and skin cancer doesn't apply to them. 

I guess I should just be happy that he remembers "sometimes" and that he actually wear shoes ...I wonder how long it would take to actually tan his feet . My guess is the second Tuesday of never ! 

Good news is we now live in a place where its eventually going to be cold . But then I'll have to nag that you still can get sunburned in freezing temps..

Sigh a Turf Wife's work is never done ...

Grow in day -what the hell is that?? 

MOT-might be getting a spray tan in his near future 

ME- making fun of my beloved MOT

HOLLY- doesn't quite know what to say 

Sometimes Silence is Best

I truly feel like sometimes I sound like a broken record . Constantly having to explain my "life" to others . Why I have to plan my life around my hubs job, why it's extremely difficult to chase after my own dreams and why I always seem to have an excuse for every solution.

It gets exhausting trying to explain a Turf Wife's existence. WE are the glue that holds our families together and the oil that keeps the engine running at full speed. If  we break down, take a day off or throw any type of wrench into our normal, well our family goes to sheet .

Now before I give a negative impression about a MOT, mine in particular, he's amazing,he's a great dad to our daughter. He truly is my rock ! He's my biggest cheerleader.  He's always there when I need him to be .I might have to remind him 500 times and call him every 20 minutes to make sure he remembers ,but he will always come through . Any Turf Wife reading this will know exactly what I am talking about.That's just it though, anyone outside our "life" really doesn't understand.

What  really gets to me though, how hard it is for some people just to realize my husband doesn't work a M-F 9 to 5 job.

Yes,you might see his truck in the driveway at 2 pm on a Wednesday ,VERY rarely I might add,but it does happen every blue moon . I'm positive no one will notice him pulling in at 8pm the 6 other days of the week .

The older I get and the more seasoned I become in this industry,the more I notice the "outsiders" just really are clueless about this "our" life. I'm almost to the point of just telling anyone new I meet,I'm independently wealthy,and you might see me with a guy from time to time. It's complicated and I don't like to talk about our relationship.That way, I can save the loss of time ill never get back in my life with the 20min explanation of what my MOT does and still have to explain what I just explained because no one still knows what the heck I'm taking about.

My favorite response as of late is still "Oh so your husband is like a lawn maintenance guy" Yes exactly !!!( How do you even go on from there?) Another great one I've heard  "Its just grass why is he so stressed out?  It's not like he's a doctor saving a life ." Yup it's just grass. Please share this great affirmation with my MOT.

I could easily turn this whole post around and make it comical,but I'd be selling myself and"my sisters" short . Our existence is lonely, we are always put second even though our MOT'S will argue that. We can't just up and say I'm bored, I think I'm going to go and have a life changing experience today can you pick the kid up ? Or hey husband,take the weekend off and let's go out of town.I haven't seen you in 2 weeks can we have a lunch date? Or I'm sorry my husband had to leave your barbecue unexpectedly, his pump house just blew up and he has a grass eating fungus. .How the heck do you explain that????

The truth is no one knows any one's life until they walk a mile in ones shoes . It's very easy to give advice and solutions but, if the bigger picture is misunderstood, sometimes the best action is no reaction. 

Dear Jerk ......

Dear Arm Chair Superintendent,

You don't know me,but I know you . I know you better than you possibly think you know yourself . Please let me explain to you who I am . I'm the wife of the guy that grows your grass at your "golf club " .

I'm the wife of your golf course superintendent. You know the guy who you love when you are sinking birdie putts on every hole. I'm the wife of the guy who makes your epic round of golf possible . I'm also the wife of the guy who has probably ruined your epic round of golf because you don't understand the reasoning behind his choices.

What you don't understand here is this . Although this is just a game to you, this is our life .You and your foursome set the mood in my home .What you don't understand is, every  negative comment that rolls off your tongue ,sends a dagger straight to my husband's heart . Thanks for that, I thoroughly enjoy babysitting a brokenhearted man child. Because of your words my husband's mood when he arrives home is unbearable. We ,you know his family ,already don't get to see him for more that 3 hrs a day (if we're lucky ),you're Agronomic rants, insure the 3 hrs of family time are a complete nightmare !!!!!!! Again I appreciate you, maybe lets do lunch as a thank you!!!!

Let's get something straight here, although you might think you are above him with your fancy job and your wall of academic achievements,  You sir ,are sadly mistaken . My husband is a very educated man with countless years of education and a million light years of experience.

Just because you golf everyday doesn't make you an expert in his line of expertise. Your negative words and actions just make you a turd , and no one likes a turd!

Until you have physically walked a mile in his shoes or added an agronomy degree to your wall of knowledge , please just play your game ,drink your snuck in vodka (are you even allowed to do that ???!!!!???) and please refrain from speaking.  

Thank you for your time ,
Sincerely,
A VERY ANNOYED TURF WIFE


Disclaimer***** this is about no one in-particular and or club. Its just a blog post.. :)

O let me count the ways....

You might be married ,dating, or living with a MOT if.......

1. Anything white they own has stubborn grass stains, blue dye or dirt stains in bedded so far in the fibers  no matter what you do ,bleaching ,burning or throwing them away. It still doesn't remove ANYTHING!!

2. Every article of clothing they own is either a pair of cargo shorts or a collard shirt with some type of logo design from some course that has 2  hour story attached to it . (Yawn)

3. They have 150 different hats, all with some type of logo you can't pronounce .

4. No matter how hard you try to clean, grass clippings will ALWAYS hide and multiply in your house when you are sleeping.

5. The inside of their trucks consist of 32 dirty pullovers ,47 coffee mugs and 12 missing invoices .

6. Your yard will always be "that" yard ,either Augusta National perfect or foreclosure scary . No exceptions ,no in between.

7. You're conversations will always include things you know nothing about . Chemical equations that sound like Arabic gossip and diseases that you swear are an STD.

8. 15 tubes of unopened sunscreen left in the garage ,because "they are going to bring this with them in the morning "

9. You argue in the front yard ,because you didn't mow it correctly

10. Superintendent time. "I'll be home in 30 mins " which translates to at least 2 hrs or more .

11. You're child's first real spoken  phrase was height of cut.

12. You have more golf balls and tee's than any normal human should see in their lifetime.

13.  You've forgotten what it feels like to eat a meal together .

14.  You know what nah nah errrr errrr  message delivered means

15. You are prohibited from even breathing while any type of weather is on .

16 . People assume you make make meth in the garage because there is 400 different types of unmarked "liquid " jugs.

17. You wear a wedding ring ,but no one has EVER seen your spouse . They just assume you're a widow .

18.  The Masters, US Open and the British Open are National holidays in your home and must be watched in silence and discussed ,then rewound to watch again ,if you missed an epic shot .

19.  You have a text book description of your spouses job tile ,because no one understands what they do.

20 . NO WE DON'T KNOW TIGER WOODS !!!!

21. You're on a first name basis with all sales reps and consider them part of the family .

22. You consider living in the next town over because you can't go out in public without running into a member and having a "talk shop" discussion.

23.  You're life is planned around 2 seasons . Growing and Dormant.

24.  You are now an agronomist. You can spot, treat and diagnose "turf problems"

25.  You moved more times in the past 5 years than the stock market.

26.  Your kids have now become mini meteorological wizards and get excited that daddy will be home soon..

27. You know what the 57 different types of equipment in the shop are and what they are used for .

28. A road trip is never complete without designing a mythological state of the art,roadside golf facility.

29. What's a road trip?

30. You have accepted , named and grown to love your spouse's mistress. (His course)

31. You've seen more money spent on radar apps than you've spent on shoes in your life time .

THE END !!!

Bella Verde Césped !!!

Mow the yard he said . It will be fun he said . Ha! Little did he (MOT)  know , that this Turf Wife would not only mow his precious grass blades but she would mow perfectly straight lines . I think its,safe to say I'm not directionally challenged .(this is an inside joke between my MOT and myself) 

I'm in a constant battle with my MOT about our yard . I know ... I've written about it before . But this "battle" has now turned into a "friendly"competition. 

This competition is probably mainly in my head.  I'm totally fine admitting that . I'm sure I'm harboring some deep down inside resentment and this is my way of throwing salt in his wounds .Secrely stabbing him where it hurts . His precious grass!!!!

Every time I start that mower ,something comes over me . A feeling that I have to out shine him .So what if his course is beautiful. Look at MY yard .MY doing, NOT the big important Golf Course Superintendent, with all the fancy degrees.  .. I really can't tell you the reasoning behind it . Maybe because I'm nuts .I'm thinking ha ,I've out done you ,what are you going to say about that ? Would Holly do anything like this for you?????

 In reality this is what is really happening ...  Every time he arrives home and sees his yard mowed, he's probably on his hands and knees crying thankful tears of joy in the driveway, or laughing that his reverse psychological powers are playing out exactly the way he has planned . I'M MOWING THE FREAKING YARD AND HE'S NOT . Which ever it is , it's getting done and that's all that matters . We are a team and so what if he's brainwashing me . Sometimes he deserves a break, and freshly mowed turf.

Lifestyles of the Turf and Famous

YOU MIGHT BE MARRIED TO A  MOT................... If you find yourself watching TV together.. right ? very rare.. almost unbelievable, during which you're watching some type of sporting event and your significant other starts in on a 3 hr rant (OK 5 mins but I dozed off after 2.5 seconds )about how Xyz bla bla bla striped the field the wrong way according to player and spectator vision .Seriously???.. Does  this even matter in real life ? Come on here , innocent chickens are killed everyday by the masses for their succulent wings and he's worried about directional striping patterns. Even worse,wait..... What the heck is happening here? He's now making perfect logical sense to me.I'm now honing in on this grass massacre. I...just...can't..look..away...My eyes are starting to bleed and I'm becoming very annoyed. What the heck this the matter with me? When did this actually start to matter ?????

 I can't make up anything  in our "normal" day to day life, even if I tried to really hard!. I seriously think we belong on a reality TV show.  Picture this... I'm holding down the fort, looking, impeccable, in full hair, makeup,skinny jeans and really expensive shoes . He's worried about his grass, It hasnt rained in days....He's stalking his really expensive radar technology system, that's just now stopped working..It's gone off line THE HORROR!! .He's really pissed off ..Why isn't his assistant picking up his phone .????? All the while I'm in the background looking completely fabulous ,drinking wine looking concerned. We are both playing it up for the camera.I wonder if I could actually pitch this to important TV people . It might actually work ..

So let's get back to the case at hand here . Does my MOT actually think analyzing these things and discussing them with me counts as communication ? Are we both actually trying to save the world by critiquing this field what wasn't mowed correctly? figuratively speaking of course... I'm sure in his mind we are spending quality time together .In my mind ,I'm begging for the phone to ring or perhaps an earthquake.
I do realize these subjects are important to him so they have to be important to me. ,and I actually have learned a lot ,so at least I'm getting something out of it . He's educating me how to call him out when I see "disease" in our own turf empire (our yard) or when the stripes have been mowed by someone with directional issues Insert evil laugh.

But the best part about this is though He's HOME, He's NOT asleep, He's NOT on his phone, He's NOT with Holly , He's with ME!!!!...  ....WOT-3 ,MOT-27 ,HOLLY-2,536,658,028

P.s. This is the "correct" way to stripe..
P.s.s Yes this is brown patch
P.s.s.s. Yes.. those ARE weeds...

Is it supposed to look like that ?

Good morning and happy I don't know whatever grow in day it is , I've lost track . I'm out here on my deck drinking coffee , overlooking the pristine mountain views (for those of you just now following along ,we are no longer in Florida,we are in Bama. Yes ,I should change my Turfwidowfla name , but that requires effort )OK back to my original  train of thought ! I'm also staring at the wild outback that has become my backyard.  Wait ...what ? ..I'm married to a Golf Course Superintendent, my yard should be a xerox copy of Augusta National, complete with a real life replica of Amen Corner (remember we are now in the bible belt ) and a pond with water from Ray's Creek! Now back to reality , all those misconceptions 珞.  What I do have is a rough ,a perfectly (I'm sure it's Bermuda, 419 to be exact  )  emerald green in  color ,wild Australian outback with maybe with 5 or 6 sprouts of sedge rearing up from the earth . Am I slightly annoyed ? Just kinda . Do I fear for my life with each step I take ? Slightly . Am I being the nagging WOT ???? Not in the slightest.  Why ???..3 reasons here . 1. Being the most hilarious in my opinion,  we don't own a lawnmower right now . (You're dying ,I'm dying . I'm glad I'm making you laugh) 2. I have just most recently convinced my MOT, that a lawn service can be our most cherished alliance. This is HUGE ..it's been years in the making ! Normally the unspoken reasoning has been a sterile blade, a blade that is used only on our Virgin Mary turf. The unthinkable would happen if we cross-contaminated.  You know the trans-location of MTD (mowing transmitted diseases) God forbid someone else's turf  issues become "our issues " lastly number 3. Which I'm almost positive every WOT has heard her MOT say this more than enough . "I'm outside all day , I manage 2 million acres of turf on a daily basis , the last thing I want to do when I get home is mow the yard " Touche`...I get it , I think every WOT gets that point . Hence why don't push it . I normally just go and do it myself ,which I know my MOT is more than appreciative of.  I really don't mind doing it . It's great exercise and a wonderful sense of accomplishment especially when you've learned how to stripe it perfectly.  But I'm always about finding an easier way .. like spraying it out and xeriscaping. Happy wife ..happy MOT life .

Disclaimer ************ to ensure this entry doesn't piss off my MOT (ha ha ha ) he actually does take pride in his yard and always tries to have the best on the block  ,except the backyard while trying to raise the height to achieve the perfect plushness,or during a grown in ,or in July on a Tuesday 

Those aren't grey hairs ..those are sprigs!!!

And so it begins, the first day of "GROW IN"  This will be my life in a nutshell for the next 2 months. All I will do is  eat, sleep ,breathe , listen ,clean ,vacuum , and probably wash ,what will be bits and pieces of "Holly "  We must not forget to add in getting our KOT ready for the upcoming new school year , all the drama that goes along with that , plus getting her acclimated to her new life. I'll also need to remember ,TO REMEMBER , to update MOT of mandatory things he must be present for in our life . Maybe I should look into hiring a personal assistant ????!!!! Ha, I'm sure MOT would totally go for that ,especially if she was easy on the eyes !!!! I've had people tell me with this renovation, that the hard part is over ..ummm.. ???? NO !..My hell begins today . The "grow in" phase in my opinion is the worst ! The vibe in my home will solely depend upon what or how his entire maintence team is preforming under the pressure of "grow in zilla" masked as my MOT the (Grass Growing God) ,not to mention the mental strain of the  chatter, the discussions both good and bad comming from outside sources.  These "discussions " will most likely be about the progress or the lack there of .It's really funny during a project like this ,everyone instantly  has an arogmony degree and a psychic ability to determine how fast something should grow . I'll be the lucky one who gets to deal with the aftermat both good and bad  .I'm seriously considering leaving a sign on the door that says,YOU JUST LEFT "HER " SO LEAVE "HER"(don't think that would go over too well)  Luckily for me ,this isn't my first rodeo .  By now, I just make sure there is cold beer in the fridge , some type of edible substance on a plate in the microwave and a very caring expression on my face. While I'm listening very intently , In my mind I'm screaming  "shut up" I don't care ,for the love of god ,let me tell you about my day ....I'm mentally imagining  stabbing myself with your multi-tool, if I hear about 2-40dxyz, msma (I know msma has been labeled a restricted product and NO mot doesn't still use this ) , or how many inches the runners of your sprigs have reached to the sun's surface, in just 6 days!!!!!! But, I don't ...I just sit there like a good little WOT and engage. I have to sometimes remind myself that home is my MOT'S safe place and when he's here with us ,he needs to be able to decompress .That is something it's taken awhile for me to learn. Almost 16 yrs 😆 I do love hearing about his day though and seeing all of his hard work come to fruition ....most of the time ......💜

AllllllaaaaaaaaBAMA!!!!!!

Life is an adventure and we are certainly living it . Since moving to the great state of AllllllaaaaaaaaBAMA  (think Forrest Gump)we have unpacked... ok big fat lie,kind of unpacked , found a hole in the roof, have rabid beasts in the attic (probably just squirrels) and an armadillo in the back yard ,whom I've foundly named Stanley. Even bought a new fridge only to have it die and be replaced! All this fun stuff going on, I can hardly contain my excitement and or sanity  ! Then there is HOLLY can't forget about her ..... (Fast catch up .. 18 HOLE RENOVATION,go big or go home is our family motto lol .) My MOT is handling everything well ,considering . I think his biggest issue has been lighting fires under the rears of his employees ,(they have no idea how MOT is during "projects") and dealing with the masses up here that think bent grass is the holy trail that  Jesus Christ walked on  himself . For those of you wondering ,he's switching over to Jones Dwarf (bermuda ) (interested? Contact me ill get you in touch with people )Tomorrow will be the start of "Holly  time " she gets MOT all to herself for the next couple of days.  ..Tomorrow is sprig day , grass day, transformation day, I'll never see my MOT again during daylight day .THE DAY !!!! I felt kinda bad (I said kinda) yesterday when I joked with him that he's undergoing a "mock" renovation, because he's only getting new grass and not "new greens" ,he didnt act offened but ..lets be real ..I'm sure it stung alittle ,but hey atleast I actually know the difference right, that totally counts for something !!!!! Whatever he's getting ,I know the end result will be fantastic and the masses will grow to love his putting surfaces .Change is good and Lord knows Holly is begging to shine like a diamond !!!  In the meantime while he's out growing grass and playing with irrigation cycles ,I'll be holding down the fort here, trying to fight off whatever is in the attic , stalking Temps on the new fridge and running away everytime Stanley tries to interrupt my morning coffee.  Stay tuned boys and girls a grow in is "a-commin"

https://m.facebook.com/agronomyhcc/#!/agronomyhcc/photos/a.1604445633137601.1073741827.1604443999804431/1702450286670468/?type=3&source=44&refid=17

Just going with it

11 days have come and gone .The great state of Alabama has survived hurricane Trisha and we are settling in nicely.  MOT is in the full throws of his renovation and KOT (kid of turf) hasn't missed a beat . She already found her humans and her social life is in full swing.  We are one big happy reunited turf family . It's kinda funny how we are all adjusting to being a family again . When you are on your own for basically a year ,it's amazing the things you learn about yourself . I have to admit I'm having a somewhat difficult time reprogramming my mind and letting my MOT do the things husband's do . I'm almost certain my MOT is having bachelor withdrawals  as well.  But I can say ,I'm so happy I don't have to forego it alone anymore . I'm still wrapping my head around the whirlwind of a move , new surroundings and Holly's face-lift.  But you know what's completely amazing? MOT has put us first.  I've been through countless renovations, grow-in's ,horrific mistress situations(I'm talking about the other woman his course NOT an actual woman for the record), etc.  Always feeling like I'm in constant competition with rolled up mounds of dirt and expensive bags of seeds . BUT this  time it's different.  This time we are the main event ,instead of "his girl ." Maybe I've softened in my experience, maybe he's finally found the holy grail of balance . Whatever the case is, I'm not going to question it and over analyze. I'm just going with it . I'm sure in my next entry I might feel different ..ha ha ha ha ..but for now all is well in our turf life . In the mean time if you find yourself curious about Holly's progress ,you can check out MOT'S maintenance page here ..

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1705587796356717&id=1604443999804431

Waiting to exhale

So here we are ..2 days into our new adventure . Suffocated by cardboard boxes and high from packing tape . Living in a beautiful home with mountain views , in a neighborhood that screams stepford but in reality is panning out to be exactly what my soul needed . I'm sitting here tripping over all the boxes and trying to make our new house a home , sucking every last ounce of energy from my MOT , he has something else on the horizon . In exactly 1 week from today ,Holly his mistress, is going under the knife for a makeover.  Not a full blown makeover, but a much needed face-lift.  A nip and tuck 30 years in the making ,assuring that MOT'S life will be easier ,Holly still has her claws dug to the bone . What this means for me ? ..2 things ..number 1... In the long run this,will benefit our home life ..(cough cough bullshit) and number 2 , Holly has won again or she thinks she has .  She's had him to herself for a whole 9 months . You'd think she'd atleast  be kind enough to give me at least 5 mins to feel normal ,get my barrings, but what do I get , a tshirt made out of recycled cardboard that says don't hate congratulate.  Congratulate her for what ? ,being old and wrinkly? Trying to improve  herself to keep up me ? I will say I'm very happy for my MOT and his new and improved "girl" but wtf??..9 days after we are reunited as a,family ? ..How is that even possible? I swear the chain of events are sometimes so unbelievable, I can't even make them up myself ..For those of you reading who have no idea what I'm talking about ,greens renovating:) Here's what I do know, he will be home every night ,even if it's 9pm , he will be an absolute bear to live with , but he will hug me tighter as he leaves for work at the butt crack of dawn ,and we will never get to drive into town without having to stop and see "her".Our life for the next 6 to 8 weeks will include prep, sprigging ,growing and conversations that only include progress .No family of 3  exploring, lazy days ,meals or adventures . I'm ok with that for now . As strange as it sounds ,I'm claiming a victory here . In the long run i'm benfiting here. My Mot will be happy, relaxed and get to do what he does ..GROW GRASS...

Screw you Holly..hurricane Trisha has rolled in ..GAME ON ..WOT- 1, HOLLY- 55677898654322,MOT- somewhere in the corner drinking a beer hand watering ...

And we out .....

So here I sit in my house . My last Sunday in our home . Tuesday is d day . Moving day . The day I/we leave Florida . If you have been following along , it's no surprise  I'm not that excited to leave my "home" and start anew. Truthfully, my feelings are mixed . My soul is torn .  I'm yearning for a change and a new adventure , but not so sure I want to leave my comfort zone .  10 years is along long time to be settled . Heck in this "lifestyle" 10 years is equivalent to 30 years in anyone's normal life . But, that's just it .. being a WOT isn't normal .  You don't get to plan your life , your life revolves around the boy who put a ring on it. The boy who grows grass .The boy who is working  his ass off for a game . It gets so exhausting having to justify your supreme being to those outside of the turf world . No "normal person " gets it . No "normal person "cares what type of grass your MOT grows, what his green speeds are , why he's stressed because his mistress decided to give him a fungal disease 3 days before you move . They don't get you can't really plan ahead for anything, why you move so often ,or why your husband isn't ever present .  I've often heard a WOT'S life being compared to that of a military wife (now before I go and piss anyone off here , I am in no way comparing myself or my MOT , or his,career or our life ,to the brave service men or women who are fighting for our freedom.  )My presumption is merely based on comparison, being that we never get to actually take our shoes of and stay awhile . I feel very fortunate we were lucky enough to be settled for as long as we have been and the memories that we have made along the way . I also feel very fortunate that I actually have been given a gift  (even though I rarely see it as that ) to be able to live in places most people only dream about visiting.  In the grand scheme of things, the bigger picture always works itself out . I just wish we as WOT'S had the luxury of being able to have a choice, a voice "hey I love it here, why do we have to leave?" ..Well we have to because ,that's just what the way it goes,  it's the hand we've been dealt. The path that has been chosen . We suck it up ,put our feelings aside and just do it . In  the conclusion of this chapter of our life , we're turning the page and we're beginning anew ,all I can do is just pray ,swallow my feelings and start to write the next page in our new adventure . Stay posted ..the Patterson's are Bama bound....P.S. Did I mention I'll be unpacking and making our new house a home , while my MOT undergoes a complete greens  renovation ? #prayforme #itsjusthowitgoes #glamourouswot

#prayfororlando

I am in fear of the human race . I'm scared for our children . I just can't understand what motivates such evil ..praying for the victims, praying for the families, praying for responders ..praying for all....stupid and senseless ....... #prayfororlando

Take the red pill ,or take the blue pill..

You know what scares the crap out of me ? This "industry ". I've decided I'm going to get a bit more "raw" for this entry and pour my heart into it . In my experience over the years as a WOT, I've observed 2 kinds of MOTS, a lifer and a bouncer . A Lifer is someone who starts at a course and stays there ,their entire career. A Bouncer ,is someone who goes from course to course ,gaining experience growing different grasses in different climates,over the course of a few short years . I'm married to the ladder , the in-between.
In exactly 8 days from today ,we are leaving our ,MY safety net.  A net where my heart and soul begins and ends . My family and our friends and everything that our daughter has ever known . This scares the shit out of me . My MOT hasn't lived with us since October.  Bells and I have been fiercely immersed in our own routine. We are truly living the turf widow life . I am treading barely above water , taking one day at a time . Letting my inner voice take over . I am my own worst enemy.  I'm not looking at the positive,  I'm reverting back to the "bouncer" mentality ,un-attaching myself from everyone and everything . All of the what ifs are a constant plague weighing on my mental sanity . My MOT assures me  that ,this move will be life changing for us , but truthfully ,I just don't see it . Maybe it's my negative attitude from day 1 ,I mean why would I be excited about moving to Huntsville, AL, leaving our life here and our family behind.  .I really don't like anything about it or the idea itself.  Will this state be our saving grace ? Or will this just end up being another chapter in our story ? As I have stated before, I hate any kind of change.  My parents still live in the same house I grew up in , they live 3 blocks away . When we move they will be 10 hrs away .I'm very close to my family.  Huntsville is my MOT'S hometown . His story begins there , but does our chapter really need to be a part of it ?  I really don't have the choice,I have  to put my faith in him and just enjoy the ride .Again the fear sets in . What happens in a year from now ,will we have to move ? .Will we have to uproot our daughter again ? What if in that year we're still there and I actually have decided that he was right . Will that make me resent him ,for moving us to a town ,to a place I could really care not to connect with ? Or will that make me love him more ,because he saw something I couldn't?  Attitude is everything ,perception is judgment . What I'm doing right now is rambling, throwing every possible negative scenario into the mix ,instead of looking at the positive. A positive situation where my MOT is taking charge and doing something for the betterment of our existence.  I'm just being spoiled brat , throwing a fit and trying to get my way, praying and grabbing onto every last olive branch of hope in these last 8 days, channeling a miracle to happen ,so I don't have to leave MY safety net . Not ours MINE . Wtf is the matter with me ? I'm a WOT for God's sake . I have the ability to make anything happen, even under the most dire circumstances.  In the past 8 months of basically being a single parent , I've learned a lot about myself . Not only am I insanely independent,  I'm also insanely venerable, and truthfully I don't like it . I have no idea why I'm fighting this change . Why I'm mentally doubting my MOT'S intentions . Maybe because deep down inside the layers of my insanity, I know he's right ,or it's the years of baggage and the heartache that comes along with being involved in this lifestyle.  A life of turf ,a life of being married to a golf course superintendent, the good the bad and the ugly.

O new bff where the hell are you ?

You know what I think is pretty awesome ? ..The brotherhood of the grass grower mafia , turf mafia , golf mafia .whatever you call it . It's like a silent acceptance into a secret society,  that you can reach out to anytime and they welcome you with open arms . Have a question about job opening in an unknown region , contact a MOT in the area. Need a chemical/fertilizer  rep in a new area ? Contact a MOT in that area . Even if you've never spoken before ,you're  instantly bff and you get a plethora of information. They make instant relationships ,golf together and possibly go for a beer and coordinate their arefication together on different weeks to accommodate all memberships in surrounding areas . Personally as a WOT, I think it's pretty darn amazeballs. I wish it was that easy for WOT'S transitioning into uncharted territory ,when our MOT'S accept a new position in foreign waters  . Instead we have to try a little harder to find "our tribe " . When our daughter was younger I threw myself into playgroups and the stereotypical "mom's groups" I was actually pretty darn fortunate to meet some incredible humans ,whom I have made life long friendships with  . Fast forward to present day with this move , and having a now 12 yr old (way to old for playgroups ) I have 1 of 2 options .. option number 1 (being boarder line illegal i'm sure) buy and or rent a black market baby,so I can have a hope of making fast friends or option 2 (which smells of desperation ) hang around Target with a Starbucks cup in hand, and scope out the "cool moms" and pray that I don't look like a creepy stalker trying to scout out the pretty ones for a human trafficking ring in my new town . I'm sure many of you are probably thinking ,just go and get a job . Well that would be a great solution "if" key word "if "I had a husband who worked normal hours ,whom could handle the load of a kid with all her activities . Although my MOT is very much involved in our daughter's life ,he just can't be there 24/7 like I can . That is my sacrifice and I'm ok with that . I'm not a "needy "person , but I'm thinking this entry is making me sound like I am ...o lord..!!!! None the less ,I always do seem to find my way outside of my MOT'S shadow . So what, if this time I have no handed to me friendships or easy ways, I'm a WOT, I can make it work even under the most challenging situations. This new  stage in my life  shouldn't be to difficult  to find my "weirdo's", I'll just have to think outside the box and become creative ...HA!!! Or take up a hobby ...day drinking anyone (probably not the best hobby.. but, totally a fun one!!) ???
Disclaimer**** If you see me in target clutching a Starbucks Coffee ,I'm not trying to abduct you ..,I'm just find my tribe ..

So, i'm not medicated yet..

So I've  heard through the grape vine the masses have been on my mot's jock as to where this infamous wot has been .. well I'm right here .. trying to stay sane ..trying to sell my soul to sell our freaking house , and dealing woth the last week of dance for our spawn ..our kot..(kid of turf) not to mention EVERYTHING else ,the end of chapter 56786 in our life of turf . As I sit here on my front porch watching my MOT  (yay he's home ) hand water the front yard(don't think the irrigation system is good enough for his "special" grass) ..for a split second ..I'm letting myself feel normal for a hot minute . I'm  ignoring the fact  in 2 days he will be gone again and my daughter and I will be on our own yet again . But this time the light is shinning and the end is nearing . Soon we will begin chapter 56787 in the great state of AllllllaaaaBAMA..and I will have plenty of "material" to blog about as I'm sure after the euphoria of happiness and rainbows wears off my MOT will most certainly be on my shit list . That's all I have folks in the mean time just pray for my sanity..because in the reality of this crazy life turf related or not ..the sayings still stands true.. "if momma ain't happy none is "

 

see.. look at the way he's" holding" his hose..industry professional? trick of the trade??

 

This is NEVER ok to wear..but i'm reduced to be one of his "employee's" doing yard maintenance..but at least i'm repping my team.. GO PACK GO!

WOT'S need love too..

Early morning is my favorite time of the day . My daughter is still asleep and I have my coffee and my cat to keep me company . Notice I'm not mentioning my MOT because well , you all know where he is :)It's also my time to reflect and fill my soul with mindless social media stalking .(don't act like you don't enjoy it too )My feeds are filled with all sorts of characters ranging from family, friends to industry people. It's a colorful array of awesomeness. What I enjoy the most is seeing other MOT'S showcasing their hard work . The perfectly striped greens and those beautiful rolling fairways . It's truly a sight to see. But then I also know,the dark side of that beauty.  I also know that ,that MOT who is showcasing their hard work has a WOT at home probably pissed off because he was supposed to be home 2 hrs ago or a child who is missing their dad terribly. Being married to someone who is always preoccupied with dirt and grass is  very difficult. More than any "normal" wife can possibly understand . I often highlight how MOT'S are a different breed , but the reality is we as WOT'S are just as different . Our life pretty much revolves around a season . Growing or dormant.  Our sanity depends on our own strength and finding the will just to make it happen day to day alone . Some might say its,not fair ,but it's the life our destiny sought out for us . We just do it . It's almost become second nature for me to make decisions without consulting my MOT. At times it's a lonely road ,but also an empowering one . There are A LOT of WOT'S  out in the world ,and we all share this trait..STRENGTH!!!!! They are who they are, because, we are who we are ,an unspoken sisterhood where we love our MOT'S unconditionally but we don't need them to justify our own existence.  We just make it happen and quietly celebrate our own victories, that more often than not,go unnoticed or celebrated. These victories come from being a strong ,independent woman !! If your a WOT reading this entry today I'm celebrating you and telling you how wonderful you are and how great of a job your doing ,you're a freaking rock-star!!!!, and well if your a MOT reading this please please please tell your WOT today she's beautiful and you are not where you are in life without her , and her strength(it will only take about 5 mins and I can assure you nothing horrific is going to happen to your course in that time)..maybe get some flowers too :)