Sometimes Silence is Best

I truly feel like sometimes I sound like a broken record . Constantly having to explain my "life" to others . Why I have to plan my life around my hubs job, why it's extremely difficult to chase after my own dreams and why I always seem to have an excuse for every solution.

It gets exhausting trying to explain a Turf Wife's existence. WE are the glue that holds our families together and the oil that keeps the engine running at full speed. If  we break down, take a day off or throw any type of wrench into our normal, well our family goes to sheet .

Now before I give a negative impression about a MOT, mine in particular, he's amazing,he's a great dad to our daughter. He truly is my rock ! He's my biggest cheerleader.  He's always there when I need him to be .I might have to remind him 500 times and call him every 20 minutes to make sure he remembers ,but he will always come through . Any Turf Wife reading this will know exactly what I am talking about.That's just it though, anyone outside our "life" really doesn't understand.

What  really gets to me though, how hard it is for some people just to realize my husband doesn't work a M-F 9 to 5 job.

Yes,you might see his truck in the driveway at 2 pm on a Wednesday ,VERY rarely I might add,but it does happen every blue moon . I'm positive no one will notice him pulling in at 8pm the 6 other days of the week .

The older I get and the more seasoned I become in this industry,the more I notice the "outsiders" just really are clueless about this "our" life. I'm almost to the point of just telling anyone new I meet,I'm independently wealthy,and you might see me with a guy from time to time. It's complicated and I don't like to talk about our relationship.That way, I can save the loss of time ill never get back in my life with the 20min explanation of what my MOT does and still have to explain what I just explained because no one still knows what the heck I'm taking about.

My favorite response as of late is still "Oh so your husband is like a lawn maintenance guy" Yes exactly !!!( How do you even go on from there?) Another great one I've heard  "Its just grass why is he so stressed out?  It's not like he's a doctor saving a life ." Yup it's just grass. Please share this great affirmation with my MOT.

I could easily turn this whole post around and make it comical,but I'd be selling myself and"my sisters" short . Our existence is lonely, we are always put second even though our MOT'S will argue that. We can't just up and say I'm bored, I think I'm going to go and have a life changing experience today can you pick the kid up ? Or hey husband,take the weekend off and let's go out of town.I haven't seen you in 2 weeks can we have a lunch date? Or I'm sorry my husband had to leave your barbecue unexpectedly, his pump house just blew up and he has a grass eating fungus. .How the heck do you explain that????

The truth is no one knows any one's life until they walk a mile in ones shoes . It's very easy to give advice and solutions but, if the bigger picture is misunderstood, sometimes the best action is no reaction. 

Dear Jerk ......

Dear Arm Chair Superintendent,

You don't know me,but I know you . I know you better than you possibly think you know yourself . Please let me explain to you who I am . I'm the wife of the guy that grows your grass at your "golf club " .

I'm the wife of your golf course superintendent. You know the guy who you love when you are sinking birdie putts on every hole. I'm the wife of the guy who makes your epic round of golf possible . I'm also the wife of the guy who has probably ruined your epic round of golf because you don't understand the reasoning behind his choices.

What you don't understand here is this . Although this is just a game to you, this is our life .You and your foursome set the mood in my home .What you don't understand is, every  negative comment that rolls off your tongue ,sends a dagger straight to my husband's heart . Thanks for that, I thoroughly enjoy babysitting a brokenhearted man child. Because of your words my husband's mood when he arrives home is unbearable. We ,you know his family ,already don't get to see him for more that 3 hrs a day (if we're lucky ),you're Agronomic rants, insure the 3 hrs of family time are a complete nightmare !!!!!!! Again I appreciate you, maybe lets do lunch as a thank you!!!!

Let's get something straight here, although you might think you are above him with your fancy job and your wall of academic achievements,  You sir ,are sadly mistaken . My husband is a very educated man with countless years of education and a million light years of experience.

Just because you golf everyday doesn't make you an expert in his line of expertise. Your negative words and actions just make you a turd , and no one likes a turd!

Until you have physically walked a mile in his shoes or added an agronomy degree to your wall of knowledge , please just play your game ,drink your snuck in vodka (are you even allowed to do that ???!!!!???) and please refrain from speaking.  

Thank you for your time ,
Sincerely,
A VERY ANNOYED TURF WIFE


Disclaimer***** this is about no one in-particular and or club. Its just a blog post.. :)

Is it supposed to look like that ?

Good morning and happy I don't know whatever grow in day it is , I've lost track . I'm out here on my deck drinking coffee , overlooking the pristine mountain views (for those of you just now following along ,we are no longer in Florida,we are in Bama. Yes ,I should change my Turfwidowfla name , but that requires effort )OK back to my original  train of thought ! I'm also staring at the wild outback that has become my backyard.  Wait ...what ? ..I'm married to a Golf Course Superintendent, my yard should be a xerox copy of Augusta National, complete with a real life replica of Amen Corner (remember we are now in the bible belt ) and a pond with water from Ray's Creek! Now back to reality , all those misconceptions 珞.  What I do have is a rough ,a perfectly (I'm sure it's Bermuda, 419 to be exact  )  emerald green in  color ,wild Australian outback with maybe with 5 or 6 sprouts of sedge rearing up from the earth . Am I slightly annoyed ? Just kinda . Do I fear for my life with each step I take ? Slightly . Am I being the nagging WOT ???? Not in the slightest.  Why ???..3 reasons here . 1. Being the most hilarious in my opinion,  we don't own a lawnmower right now . (You're dying ,I'm dying . I'm glad I'm making you laugh) 2. I have just most recently convinced my MOT, that a lawn service can be our most cherished alliance. This is HUGE ..it's been years in the making ! Normally the unspoken reasoning has been a sterile blade, a blade that is used only on our Virgin Mary turf. The unthinkable would happen if we cross-contaminated.  You know the trans-location of MTD (mowing transmitted diseases) God forbid someone else's turf  issues become "our issues " lastly number 3. Which I'm almost positive every WOT has heard her MOT say this more than enough . "I'm outside all day , I manage 2 million acres of turf on a daily basis , the last thing I want to do when I get home is mow the yard " Touche`...I get it , I think every WOT gets that point . Hence why don't push it . I normally just go and do it myself ,which I know my MOT is more than appreciative of.  I really don't mind doing it . It's great exercise and a wonderful sense of accomplishment especially when you've learned how to stripe it perfectly.  But I'm always about finding an easier way .. like spraying it out and xeriscaping. Happy wife ..happy MOT life .

Disclaimer ************ to ensure this entry doesn't piss off my MOT (ha ha ha ) he actually does take pride in his yard and always tries to have the best on the block  ,except the backyard while trying to raise the height to achieve the perfect plushness,or during a grown in ,or in July on a Tuesday 

And we out .....

So here I sit in my house . My last Sunday in our home . Tuesday is d day . Moving day . The day I/we leave Florida . If you have been following along , it's no surprise  I'm not that excited to leave my "home" and start anew. Truthfully, my feelings are mixed . My soul is torn .  I'm yearning for a change and a new adventure , but not so sure I want to leave my comfort zone .  10 years is along long time to be settled . Heck in this "lifestyle" 10 years is equivalent to 30 years in anyone's normal life . But, that's just it .. being a WOT isn't normal .  You don't get to plan your life , your life revolves around the boy who put a ring on it. The boy who grows grass .The boy who is working  his ass off for a game . It gets so exhausting having to justify your supreme being to those outside of the turf world . No "normal person " gets it . No "normal person "cares what type of grass your MOT grows, what his green speeds are , why he's stressed because his mistress decided to give him a fungal disease 3 days before you move . They don't get you can't really plan ahead for anything, why you move so often ,or why your husband isn't ever present .  I've often heard a WOT'S life being compared to that of a military wife (now before I go and piss anyone off here , I am in no way comparing myself or my MOT , or his,career or our life ,to the brave service men or women who are fighting for our freedom.  )My presumption is merely based on comparison, being that we never get to actually take our shoes of and stay awhile . I feel very fortunate we were lucky enough to be settled for as long as we have been and the memories that we have made along the way . I also feel very fortunate that I actually have been given a gift  (even though I rarely see it as that ) to be able to live in places most people only dream about visiting.  In the grand scheme of things, the bigger picture always works itself out . I just wish we as WOT'S had the luxury of being able to have a choice, a voice "hey I love it here, why do we have to leave?" ..Well we have to because ,that's just what the way it goes,  it's the hand we've been dealt. The path that has been chosen . We suck it up ,put our feelings aside and just do it . In  the conclusion of this chapter of our life , we're turning the page and we're beginning anew ,all I can do is just pray ,swallow my feelings and start to write the next page in our new adventure . Stay posted ..the Patterson's are Bama bound....P.S. Did I mention I'll be unpacking and making our new house a home , while my MOT undergoes a complete greens  renovation ? #prayforme #itsjusthowitgoes #glamourouswot