You might be married ,dating, or living with a MOT if.......
1. Anything white they own has stubborn grass stains, blue dye or dirt stains in bedded so far in the fibers no matter what you do ,bleaching ,burning or throwing them away. It still doesn't remove ANYTHING!!
2. Every article of clothing they own is either a pair of cargo shorts or a collard shirt with some type of logo design from some course that has 2 hour story attached to it . (Yawn)
3. They have 150 different hats, all with some type of logo you can't pronounce .
4. No matter how hard you try to clean, grass clippings will ALWAYS hide and multiply in your house when you are sleeping.
5. The inside of their trucks consist of 32 dirty pullovers ,47 coffee mugs and 12 missing invoices .
6. Your yard will always be "that" yard ,either Augusta National perfect or foreclosure scary . No exceptions ,no in between.
7. You're conversations will always include things you know nothing about . Chemical equations that sound like Arabic gossip and diseases that you swear are an STD.
8. 15 tubes of unopened sunscreen left in the garage ,because "they are going to bring this with them in the morning "
9. You argue in the front yard ,because you didn't mow it correctly
10. Superintendent time. "I'll be home in 30 mins " which translates to at least 2 hrs or more .
11. You're child's first real spoken phrase was height of cut.
12. You have more golf balls and tee's than any normal human should see in their lifetime.
13. You've forgotten what it feels like to eat a meal together .
14. You know what nah nah errrr errrr message delivered means
15. You are prohibited from even breathing while any type of weather is on .
16 . People assume you make make meth in the garage because there is 400 different types of unmarked "liquid " jugs.
17. You wear a wedding ring ,but no one has EVER seen your spouse . They just assume you're a widow .
18. The Masters, US Open and the British Open are National holidays in your home and must be watched in silence and discussed ,then rewound to watch again ,if you missed an epic shot .
19. You have a text book description of your spouses job tile ,because no one understands what they do.
20 . NO WE DON'T KNOW TIGER WOODS !!!!
21. You're on a first name basis with all sales reps and consider them part of the family .
22. You consider living in the next town over because you can't go out in public without running into a member and having a "talk shop" discussion.
23. You're life is planned around 2 seasons . Growing and Dormant.
24. You are now an agronomist. You can spot, treat and diagnose "turf problems"
25. You moved more times in the past 5 years than the stock market.
26. Your kids have now become mini meteorological wizards and get excited that daddy will be home soon..
27. You know what the 57 different types of equipment in the shop are and what they are used for .
28. A road trip is never complete without designing a mythological state of the art,roadside golf facility.
29. What's a road trip?
30. You have accepted , named and grown to love your spouse's mistress. (His course)
31. You've seen more money spent on radar apps than you've spent on shoes in your life time .
THE END !!!
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